Presumably, you’ve seen this inspirational smartphone video in which Ghostface Killah, the Wu-Tang champion, reads Action Bronson his rites. The six-minute diss is stressfully amazing. It’s painfully hilarious. I can imagine Ghostface reciting the compassionate disclaimer that often precedes such a parental whooping: This hurts me more than it’s hurting you.
Let’s set the general Ghostface vs. Action Bronson comparison aside for a moment. Let’s simply admire this rant for what it is—the best Ghostface music video since “Cherchez LaGhost”!
Mind you, this isn’t just Dennis Coles ranting into a hot mic. This is Dennis Coles rocking his best grey sweats, pacing around an unspecified living room as Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes take us to church! As he gestures wildly, puckering his lips and grabbing at his dick, Ghostface is communing with the spiteful ghost of Teddy Pendergrass via consumer-grade stereo speakers and a 70s soul b-side. Bronson could never. In case you’ve forgotten why Ghostface is a wordsmith celebrated by two generations of hip-hop fans, here’s a list of classic quotables from this one hastily produced YouTube video alone:
“I gave you a grace period, you fat fuck. I let you live!”
“You hear what [Teddy Pendergrass] said? Uh-huh. That’s right.”
“This fat, funky-ass nigga’s a fraud!”
“This nigga done deleted the tweets!!!!!”
“You have to learn how to watch what you say. I guess you’ve never been taught that. Because you’re not a real nigga. You walk around the club with no shoes on.”
“Big-ass beard. One day I might set that shit on fire!”
“And now [Teddy Pendergrass] telling you to be for real.”
“Don’t make me hang you from a rope and gut you like a pig.”
“I want you to enjoy your summer. You know a lot of people don’t make it through the summer.”
Confirmed: Ghostface is the best rapper in the Wu-Tang Clan, if not the best rapper in the history of this planet. He didn’t need no hook for this shit!
Action Bronson has since apologized to the god.
Everyone says things they regret. I respect my elders and the forefathers of this art. Once again, I’m sorry.
— MR. WONDERFUL (@ActionBronson) July 20, 2015